Can I Talk About Sex in Therapy?
Short Answer: YES.
You can talk about sex in therapy. Also, you don’t have to if you’re not ready. You can also talk around the topic of sex.
Even in 2025, sex is a taboo topic for many. It’s not uncommon for people to wonder if discussing their sex lives in therapy is “appropriate” or “too much.”
So let’s just say it plainly:
You’re allowed to talk about sexual fantasies that confuse or worry you.
Struggles with your sex partner(s)? Absolutely.
Sex wins, sex fears, questions about sexuality or desire? Bring them in.
Not only is this kind of stuff welcome, but it can also be a powerful gateway to working through shame you might not even realize you're carrying.
Let’s break down some common fears and questions people have when it comes to talking about sex in therapy:
“I’m worried my therapist will judge me.”
Totally valid. Therapy takes vulnerability, and it’s human to fear judgment.
Try asking yourself:
Have I felt judged by my therapist before?
When I’ve shared something scary or vulnerable in the past, how did they respond? Did I feel safe and validated? Or did I feel embarrassed afterward?
Your past experiences with your therapist can help guide you here. If something felt off before, it’s okay to acknowledge that and even bring it up.
“I have sexual trauma, and I’m not ready to talk about it. What should I do?”
You do not have to talk about anything before you're ready.
You always have the right to go at your own pace and no therapist should ever push you to talk about something that feels overwhelming or dysregulating before you're ready.
What might be helpful is to let your therapist know that you’re not ready. You don’t need to share the trauma itself - just that it’s there and not something you want to discuss yet (or maybe ever). Something like:
“I’m not ready to talk about X yet, and I might never be ready.”
That kind of boundary gives your therapist helpful context without forcing you to relive anything. It also opens the door to gently exploring why some protective parts of you are keeping that boundary up - if that feels accessible.
You know yourself best. Trust the parts of you that are protecting your safety.
“What if my sexual fantasies are weird or disturbing?”
Fantasies are incredibly personal, but they’re also incredibly common to bring into therapy. They can often hold deeper meaning about desire, trauma, power, or even stress relief.
Exploring them with a trusted therapist can lead to new insight and self-compassion. It can be deeply validating to see what’s underneath the surface.
“What if I make my therapist uncomfortable?”
It’s kind of you to consider your therapist’s feelings, but it’s also not your job to manage them.
Therapists are trained to regulate their own emotions. When something brings up strong reactions or confusion, they’re expected to seek consultation or supervision to process it on their own time.
If your therapist ever seems uncomfortable, it’s okay to name it. Sometimes discomfort in the therapy room is related to countertransference, which is when a therapist has emotional reactions toward a client that are shaped by the therapist’s own history or experiences. That might sound intense, but it’s actually totally normal and happens with every therapist. What matters is how your therapist handles it - with professionalism, reflection, and support from their own network.
“What if I have a sexual fantasy about my therapist?”
This is more common than you’d think. The therapy relationship is unlike any other. Your therapist is emotionally attuned, focused completely on you, and provides a space where you’re seen and heard without judgment.
These dynamics can stir up all kinds of feelings. Bringing this up in therapy (if and when you’re ready) can actually lead to powerful conversations about attachment, longing, safety, boundaries, and your own history with relationships.
“Even after all this, I still feel like my therapist would judge me.”
That’s important to listen to. You could start by bringing this up directly:
“I’m worried you’ll judge me if I say X.”
“Do your other clients ever talk about sex?”
“How do you typically approach conversations about sexuality?”
It’s okay to ask your therapist about their stance, so you can make an informed choice about how much you want to share.
If you regularly feel judged or uncomfortable with your therapist, especially around topics like sex or identity, it might be time to consider finding a different therapist. You deserve to feel safe and accepted when you’re being vulnerable. No exceptions.
“Is it weird to talk about masturbation in therapy?”
Not at all. Masturbation is normal. Talking about it is normal. Not masturbating is normal, too.
Like any part of sexuality, it can bring up all kinds of feelings - shame, curiosity, guilt, confusion, joy. Therapy is a place to unpack all of that if it feels helpful.
Bottom Line
Yes, you can talk about sex in therapy.
But no, you don’t have to.
You get to move at your own pace. You get to hold boundaries.
You get to listen to the scared or hesitant parts of you without overriding them.
Trust yourself. You’re the expert on you.
And a good therapist will honor that.
